The Art of Open Relating: Volume 1: Theory, Philosophy, & Foundation by Stevens Carl

Author:Stevens, Carl [Stevens, Carl]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: SelfAsSource
Published: 2017-07-04T16:00:00+00:00

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SEX, STD’S, AND PREGNANCY

If you’re looking for commentary downplaying the importance and awesomeness of sex in open relating, you’ve selected the wrong book. Sex is one of the best things about open relating because sex is the ultimate relating and connecting experience with another human being. It’s spirituality in motion and allows you to physically see into one another’s soul. It’s beautiful. I have to acknowledge it because so many in the poly and mono communities run away from it. Running away from our sexuality as human beings is like running away from our very nature and essence. It’s like running away from our creative power. But with great power comes great responsibility. Sex is so powerful it brings its share of controversy and fear along with it. I mean, just its very nature is going to scare the hell out of people, and it does that and then some. Because people who practice open relating as a relationship style tend to have more sex and with more partners after marriage, they make the perfect targets for all those who are terrified of sex. The open community will be looked at as the poster children for all that’s bad and irresponsible with sex. It’s just going to happen, and you can’t do much about other people’s fears and hang-ups, but you can do something about your own – lose them and work on them.

If you’re going to open relate, you must have healthy views on your own sexuality and sex in general. You need to have a healthy view of what sex is and what it’s for. In my view, sex is for healing and manifestation (creation). Healing means that it’s designed to make you feel better, improve your health, reduce stress, and ultimately have you feeling better during and after. Manifestation means, it can be used as a tool to help energize your dreams and better connect you to your partner. I see sex as a benefit and something to be enjoyed. I don’t see it as a control mechanism. I don’t see it as a risk or risky behavior. I see no shame in sex and I don’t blame others for how they choose to use sex in their lives. Should you share my beliefs about sex? Only if you agree with them. The point is that sex is a centerpiece of relating, especially for open relationships. The truth is that the potential is always there for people who are free to interact with other humans as they please, so you don’t want to be hung up in a fear-based philosophy around your sexuality. Otherwise, it’s best to play it safe and stick to one partner you trust. There’s absolutely no shame in that. Stay within the realm of what’s realistic for you and enjoy it. Why set yourself up for pain or future heartbreak or be stressed out before, during, or after a sexual encounter? No one really has time for that.

How do you

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